My grandmother, Marian Croel, was truly a remarkable woman. She died the other day at the age of 92-1/2, and although we all knew her passing was imminent, it's still been kind of a shock. I think her passing truly represents the end of an era, and leaves us all only with our memories -- no more physical person to attach them to.
So many memories of Grandma flash through my mind now… as her oldest grandchild, I can actually conjure a visual of Grandma when she was still in her 40s, my age now. I remember her dark hair, and even witnessing her smoking the occasional cigarette, which never ceased to shock me. I remember loving being in my grandparents' home… Marian and my grandpa Russ created such a welcoming environment, and their home was in such a beautiful setting. From the willow tree out back, to the cornfields and wondrous farm country all around, it was a joy to be there. Grandma's cooking and baking always filled the house with the most amazing smells -- she was probably one of the best bread bakers the world has ever known -- and there always seemed to be plenty to go around, as friends, neighbors and family members would frequently drop in unannounced and end up staying for a meal. In my mind's eye, I can play back some of our visits to Grandma and Grandpa's house and see and almost smell some of our great times there.
But Grandma wasn't just this saintly-like person; she was complex and often cantankerous. As a chubby child, I was the frequent target of her barbs: "Stop drinking so much water [or iced tea]! You'll stretch your stomach out and eat more!" I would be crushed by her comments, assuming I was an embarrassment to her. She could be harsh and tactless, but in the end, was always able to balance her criticisms with kindness. She wouldn't hesitate to leave a rousing card game to come upstairs and tuck me in and tell me the story of "Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot Foot Foot", a silly story about rabbits that I would give anything to remember today.
One of the things I've come to appreciate about Grandma as I've gotten older is her intelligence and openness. She never went to college, but if she had, I don't doubt she would have been head of her class. She sparkled with a wit that revealed an intelligence that she was never able to fully realize in an academic setting; so did Grandpa Russ. Perhaps that was one of the draws for them both to each other. When their kids moved to far-away places and other countries, they never missed the opportunity to travel there and experience Central America or the Middle East. Besides their openness to experiencing different countries and cultures, they were open to anyone of any race, creed or background back at home. In the homogenous rural community they were from, I suspect this was quite a special trait, and one I've come to be incredibly proud of.
With the emphasis on religion and the rise of the mega-church and the Christian right these days, Grandma's form of Christianity is, to me, a shining example of the real thing. She didn't proselytize or even talk about her faith much directly, but she lived it -- she walked the walk and lived the life of a person of faith every day. She cared for and took meals to people in need, volunteered in her community, and just generally, was someone you could always count on.
Grandma and Grandpa Croel live on in their children and grandchildren, and as a result of how they lived their lives, we all have a big legacy to live up to. I think my own father has done that in spades… he's been a wonderful father, and I cherish him and the home and life he and my mother were able to provide for us. As I look back on Grandma's life and say goodbye to the last of my grandparents, I feel so grateful to have known her. What I learned from her (but struggle to put into practice in my own life each day) is that actions speak louder than words, love should be universally given, and that sometimes the best messages aren't always delivered in the best manner, but you've just got to look below the surface to see the positive intention behind them.
Our worldly loss is heaven's gain, as Grandma Croel takes her unique personality to the other side. I love you, Grandma.
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